


I Love You

by RandomnonsenseDA (B1nary_S0lo)



Series: Ilora Hawke [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Character Death, Dragon Age Quest: All That Remains, F/M, Falling In Love, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 18:25:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12513552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B1nary_S0lo/pseuds/RandomnonsenseDA
Summary: Anders comforts Hawke in the aftermath of her mother's death.





	I Love You

Hawke wasn’t sure how long she sat alone at the edge of her bed. The exhaustion of the last few hours seeped through her body from head to toe, yet she couldn’t imagine lying down and shutting her eyes. Even with them open all she could see was the twisted, bloody thing her mother had become, and the look in her eyes when she’d died.

What Hawke wanted was to howl, to cry and scream at the top of her lungs. But even that was beyond her. All she could do was sit motionless and numb, as helpless as she’d been in that room below the city.

She didn’t hear the door open, but she did hear the soft, increasingly familiar footsteps on the carpet. It wasn’t until he spoke, however, that she looked up.

“I know nothing I say will change it. I’m just… I’m sorry.”

Hawke didn’t answer, but instead turned her gaze back to the carpet. She couldn’t muster up any emotion at Anders’ appearance, only the thought that, just the night before, they’d made love in this very bed. It seemed unreal, like something someone else had done.

“You were lucky to have her as long as you did,” he said, walking closer to the bed. “When the pain fades, that’s what will matter.”

She looked up at him again. She could see the compassion in his expression. She knew it from the clinic, and from when he discussed his work with escaped mages. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen it directed at her before.

She swallowed and tried to say something in reply.

“I didn’t…” She had to pause. In spite of her failure to cry, her voice was hoarse and quavering. “I didn’t try hard enough to save her.”

“She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself,” he said.

She snorted, thinking of the day Carver had died, and surveyed Anders through her bangs. “You don’t know my mother.”

His eyebrows darted up, momentarily.

“No,” he said. “And I’m sorry I never will.”

He came closer, and the mattress creaked as he took a seat beside her. She could feel the warmth of his body, that solidness she loved so well. An impulse ran through her to fall into him, to curl up like a cat or a child in his lap, but she couldn’t find the will to do so.

“I’m here for you,” he said. He placed a hand on her knee. “Whatever you need.”

His hand was warm, grip strong. She’d always loved the strength and steadiness of his hands, born from years of healing the sick. Her eyes traveled from his fingers, across his chest and up to his face. Emotion ached in her throat.

“I love you,” she said.

He smiled, reaching out with his other hand to smooth a long strand of hair behind her ear. Her heart ached at his tenderness but she knew he didn’t understand. He thought she was saying “I love you” in the usual way, but this time was different. This was the first time she truly  _felt_  it.


End file.
